Collaborative Divorce Can Be Healing

posted 14 Jan 2011, 10:18 by Collaborative Divorce News   [ updated 17 Jan 2011, 16:12 ]
Family lawyers who have been involved in collaborative divorce cases over the past few years know just how constructive collaborative family law can be for divorcing couples. Being able to explain this to people at the start of the process is not always easy and as a fairly new divorce option in the UK, separating couples often don’t know people who have been through the collaborative process who can act as advocates.

That’s why we’d like to encourage you to take a few moments to read through an article that appeared in the Daily Mail on 8th January 2011. It is written by Martha Roberts who talks the reader through her own personal tale of the collaborative process.

On starting the collaborative process, Martha explains “Immediately, it felt like Simon and I – not the court process – would be the drivers. And I knew we had similar goals, not least the welfare of our son. Walking into a room with my lawyer and seeing Simon next to his for the first time, across the table, made me feel immensely sad. However, when we all started to talk, I began to appreciate how being at close quarters was likely to help us find points of consensus rather than conflict.”

Explaining how solving the problem of their divorce together made her feel, Martha states “…there’s something very healing about being able to work face to face with each other’s vulnerability – we were kinder to each other than we would have been in a courtroom.”

But it wasn’t just Martha who valued the collaborative divorce process. “When I asked Simon, for the purposes of this article, what he thought of collaborative law, he said: ‘I like the fact that we had a lawyer “safety net” there. We could discuss things in an adult way and focus on Ezra. It has led to a balance in our relationship that would not have been there had we gone through the courts.’”
In summarising, Martha says “Open dialogue and working through every aspect of our split – from practical to emotional – is helping me feel positive about my future as a divorced woman, a single mother and an ex-wife communicating with her ex-husband.”

To read more of Martha’s article, please click here

If you would like to know more about whether a collaborative divorce is right for you, please contact a collaboratively trained family lawyer near you from this website and find out.